Ranking the Alien Movies

In a universe where deadly aliens stalk crew members through claustrophobic spaceships—and no one seems to have heard of the concept “quarantine”—the Alien franchise has expanded beyond all reason. But which films deserve to be celebrated for their magnificent terror, and which should be left drifting in the cosmic void? Grab your flamethrowers and prepare for the worst! Here is a not-so-comprehensive ranking of the Alien movies:

Aliens (1986)

The poster child for sequels that exceed their predecessors, albeit it barely, Aliens is what happens when you let an artist named James Cameron go wild with a budget and an awesome piece of I.P. In this action-packed romp, Lt. Ripley takes the fight to the xenomorphs, bringing along a squad of heavily armed marines who, let's just say, underrated their opponent. Who doesn’t love a film where the protagonist goes from traumatized victim to full-fledged badass (with a Power Loader) in less than two hours? Plus, who could forget the iconic line: "Get away from her, you b****!"—delivered with all the fury of a mom who just found out her kids had run up her credit card.

Alien (1979)

Ah, the original—timeless and terrifying. Ridley Scott’s masterclass in pacing and suspense will have you gripping your seat (or your cat, depending on your available options) as the crew of the Nostromo meets their grisly fate.

This film, ahem, birthed the iconic xenomorph and introduced us to Ripley, a character whose survival instinct is far superior to her peers. Truly, the film made us all realize that space is not just cold—it’s also deadly and full of overly aggressive reproductive cycles.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

We hit a bit of a rough-but-enjoyable patch here, folks. Covenant takes the road less traveled by being both a sequel and a prequel… and a little bit of a likable mess. Ridley Scott returns to the director’s chair and though the film attempts to delve deep into the philosophical questions of creation, most viewers were left wondering: why didn’t these people just listen to Daniels? Still, it offers some visually stunning moments and leads us to ponder the ultimate question: who hit the reset button on this universe, and can we hit it again?

Alien 3 (1992)

This entry is like that one cooky cousin at every family gathering—kinda awkward, but it feels weird if they don't show up, even if you’re never really sure if you want them there. Alien 3 brings back Ripley in a grim prison setting, filled with rebels who would rather prom-night-makeout than fight off a killer alien. The plot twists might make your head spin, but watching Sigourney Weaver battle her inner demons—and a claustrophobic creative vision courtesy of the masterful David Fincher—is a trip worth taking.

Prometheus (2012)

Ah, Prometheus, the film that promised to unravel the mysteries of the universe but instead left us asking, “Is this really the best we could do?" The movie features a crew of scientists who, despite their advanced degrees, seem to have the instincts of a drunken raccoon. Who knew a film about creation could raise so many questions about logic, like why not bring more than one ship? Still, it’s undeniably pretty, which is more than we can say for…

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

This film proves that not every character should be raised from the dead. Alien: Resurrection tries to recapture the magic of the original franchise by cloning Ripley (yep, really) and throwing her into a bizarre world of undercooked ideas and questionable character arcs. It delivers on campy charm, with more questions than answers. Nevertheless, the sequel's sheer absurdity gives it a seat at the table of “films you watch late at night with friends while laughing at its ridiculousness.”

Always Alien, Always Awesome

As we nestle into our beds after a long day of scaring ourselves silly, let’s remember that though the Alien franchise may have stumbled into some dark corners, it also gave us the O.G. of female film badassery, incredible suspense and the most on-screen deaths that can leave one questioning their career as a space miner. Because if there’s one thing we learned: when aliens knock, just friggin' don’t answer.