Dad Sneakers: Hot and Not in 2024

There is a lot of BAD dad shoe advice going on. From GQ to Esquire to Men's Health, dads are straight up getting bunk advice when it comes to finding the shoe that will make kids, moms at parks, and other style-savvy dads say DAMN.

But Dads, now isn't the time to abandon all hope of a dope existence. Now is the time to RISE UP.

The Hierophant and Sir Cortis are here to remedy that. Here, we unleash the sneaks that whisper hidden knowledge of comfort and style to the souls of dads who navigate the tempests of diaper changes with the same grace as they've mastered the art roasting a perfectly-cooked tri-tip on the bbq.

These are not mere accessories; they are wearable talismans for the modern-day guardian, anchoring them with every step into their role with style and substance.

What Makes a Good Dad Sneaker

A good dad shoe should be comfortable for extended time on your feet. It should be versatile so you don't have to change it as zip between the park/coffeeshop/school/work meeting. It should be something you can wear repeatedly, often.

And it should demonstrate the dad's acknowledgement of the existential tightrope that we all walk. That is, really really giving a f$%k about putting in the WORK, while at the same time not giving a rats a@@ about the dumb stuff.

Running Shoes are Not Dope Dad Shoes. Avoid These.

I hate to say it, but dear compatriots of daddom, use the specialty running shoes to run in, and let your dope dad sneaks be the ones you do magical dope dad stuff in.

That's INCLUDING and ESPECIALLY going to the park with your kiddos. Dads, unless you are doing 5.5-minute miles wearing short shorts while your beautiful spawn naps in the Bob stroller, please leave your high-performance running shoes at home and opt for one of my picks.

The offenders:

Running Hokas Hoka shoes are ok, I guess, but runner-Hokas-as-dad-shoes signify a certain brand of IDGAFness that I don’t agree with. Dads, I know you some of you just be loving the Hokas like cold fresh mozzarella with tomato and salt and oil on a late summer day, so if you want to see what I consider DOPE HOKAS, go to Canoe Club's website and view their selection.

On Running. Elevated laziness. The only thing that can save these is an Acronym or Visivm collaboration, which I don't see happening.

Basically any shoe listed in the "running" category on Nike.com. This is pretty self-explanatory.

Trends are inevitable. Consider Shelving These.

There are a few shoe styles that, well, I'm just not sure what to do with, for a variety of reasons. Here they are. I would recommend staying away from these unless you are a total ride-or-die fan of these styles already:

Yeezy 350 boost sneakers. There is so much to unpack with the 350s, so I just won't. Stick with the other models if Ye's are your jam. The 350s are completely washed, even if they are the most comfortable thing I've ever worn.

Post AJ4 Jordans. Fine to play in or wear to the gym, but the bill of overexposure has come due on many Jordan models. In fact, it pains me to say it, but I would just stick to the 1's if you are a Jordan-loving dad at this point. If you really want to wear your Jordan collection, just let your desire to rock AJ's be motivation to visit the gym more often.

Golden Goose. Hot take: in a Vacuum, Some Golden Goose sneaks are pretty dope. Problem: the eurotrash, moved-to-Malibu-with-my-trophy-wife stink clings to these kicks like yesterday's mussels. To be dope in GG, you REALLY have to have the rest of your outfit dialed in, and your whole vibe had better not include tight ripped jeans, tucked-in polo shirts, or strolls back and forth from your Porsche. Just avoid them and be safe.

Nike Blazers. The Nike Blazers have been co-opted by high school and college kids (Gen Z?). Sorry dads, please avoid.

The Top 5 Easy-Goers

Guys, there is no excuse not to wear cool dad shoes. This following group of kicks is easy to find, relatively inexpensive, and easy to wear.

Adidas Samba

Dads donning the Adidas Samba tap into a timeless vibe that channels the never-ending dopeness of European football. The shoe's enduring popularity proves that some things really do get better with age. Like you.

Salomon XT-6

These may have hit peak popularity on the fashion circuit or with the NYC crowd, but in my book, they are still one of the best all-around shoes you can rock if you are looking for something versatile that you can really get adventurous in when you are being a badass at the local children's museum.

New Balance Anything

I'll be honest: I can't tell a New Balance 990 from a New Balance 1070 from any other NB unless somebody shoves it in front of my face and hands me a calculator. That's okay; all New Balance shoes are evergreenly dope in the dad sneaker category. So let this be your style hack if you can't decide upon a good dad shoe—just buy something New Balance. Bonus pick if you can find a pair of the ones I let get away.

Nike Old School Picks

This is a big category, but includes several retro styles that you can't go wrong. They include:

Nike Killshot
the Air Max '95, '97, '91, and most of the other older Air Max Styles
Oldschool Waffle Trainers.
Also the early-model Air Jordans, preferably the 1's.

I'm also giving props to dads in Nike Terminators and bonus for CDG Terminators.

Converse All-Stars

We've written about this ad naseum, but who cares? It's the ultimate style slayer. Dads, you can wear cons to your heart's content and feel good about it. These blue ones right here are the joints I wear myself, and mine are beat as hell.

Category 2: expensive, awesome, due for a dad-worthy comeback

Common Projects Achilles Mid

This is another shoe that shows up repeatedly on my listicles. I'm not sure they ever went away, but these are due for a huge comeback. This is an exceptionally versatile dad shoe, but don't get it twisted and treat these expensive kicks with kid gloves. No. Beat these up as soon as possible. Do epic dirty dadness in these because worn Common Projects are gangsta.

You'll notice I picked the Achilles mid, which, in my opinion, is the dopest CP style by miles. Also if a pickup game breaks out, you can actually ball 🏀 in these, just don't expect a ton of cushion.

MM6 Court Sneakers

I think these are exceptionally cool sneaks, presenting an opportunity for the enterprising minimalist dad to pull something off that you won't see often. The crepe soles on these are rad. Yes, they are expensive, but whatever, this is Cortis.com, not cheapgunk.net.

Balenciaga Triple S

Also due for a comeback. If you are a super-confident dad who is ready to flex, rock these bad boys with aplomb. Now, 2024 is the perfect moment to help spearhead the inevitable Triple S renaissance.

MAISON MIHARA YASUHIRO

Kicks from this brand are really interesting, so go crazy with any of the MMY styles.

Special Editions

Ok, so you are one of those dads with personality, who also really cares about shoes. Here are some curated picks if you want to be the dopest dad on the block

Adidas/Song For The Mute

All credit to the always-on Blackbird Spyplane for bringing these gems to my attention as a special-edition upgrade (?) on the Sambas. These have active, rock-climby, low-fat granola vibes, in the best way.

Bode Astro Grabber

Good luck getting ahold of these (2024's most anticipated drop), but if you can get em, definitely get em!

Tom Sachs Nike GPS

It's not really PC to be pro-Tom-Sachs right now, but I'll always be pro Tom Sachs sneakers. The GPS is unassailable as a shoe, and you can prob pick up a deal on em' right now.

Moncler Trail Grip

Again, quite expensive, but you'll be fine if the apocalypse breaks out and you have to bag some 14ers.