Hating on the Haters? Transmute Your Toxicity
You can try to eliminate it, but it's just gonna come back to bite you in the butt, so you might as well acknowledge toxicity in a healthy manner.
Jan 19, 2025
2 min read
Adjusts vintage cargo pants cuff while examining indigo-dyed socks
Listen, after spending eons studying both timeless style and human behavior, I've noticed something fascinating about how we approach personal development in 2024. We've got this persistent belief that if we just eliminate all the "toxic" elements, we'll achieve some perfect state - it's like thinking you can create the ideal wardrobe by just throwing out everything that isn't a minimalist capsule collection.
Runs fingers across a raw denim fade pattern
Here's what's wild - what we consider "toxic" keeps shifting. Our great-grandparents notoriously had their hangups about sex. Then drugs were the ultimate enemy. For a while there, we were obsessed with people from other cultures attacking our way of life just by living by their own rules. These days, we're overly obsessed with purging certain emotions— hate being the prime offender these days. Hating ain't never an ideal, but this emotion will always be part of the human experience. It's kinda like how the "fashion world" keeps declaring certain styles "dead" or "over" - but watch how they always circle back around, usually in a way that proves the original critics wrong. Bury that mess, and it just comes back to haunt you.
Examines patina on shell cordovan boots
Most recently, you might observe certain folks in society who position themselves as the "Good People" who have transcended these base emotions - it's like wearing head-to-toe Brunello Cucinelli while dissing someone's Red Wing boots and raw denim. These folks are quick to point out how toxic hate is while directing a massive amount of it toward those they deem "hateful". Watch how these same folks who preach emotional purity spend their evenings rage-posting about their political opponents. It's like claiming you're "above" workwear while secretly lusting after a perfectly worn-in Type III jacket.
Adjusts vintage omega watch
What if instead of trying to achieve perfection through deletion, we aimed for wholeness through integration? Every emotion, every instinct - they're like the pieces in a well-curated wardrobe. That beaten-up leather jacket has its place, just like that sharp suit. The goal isn't to remove any particular piece but to understand when and how to wear each one effectively.
Think about it: that hate energy you're calling out in other people might just be the same energy you are trying to suppress yourself. It's like a dope pair of raw denim jeans - the character will show through somewhere, whether you plan for it or not.
Better to guide it intentionally than pretend it doesn't exist.